I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize