are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
