Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
