I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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