I got chris browned last night
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
