How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
