But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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