I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
