There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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