He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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