In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
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you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
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Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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