THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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