Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
