well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize