thus making me awesome and them whores
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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