dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
