I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize