batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
