Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
