u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I look better un-naked...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize