My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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