how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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