my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
