somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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