I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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