i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
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I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
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I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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