haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
