I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You can't motorboat a personality
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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