We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
