My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
