I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
