I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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