ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
