She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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