Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
