Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
