I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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