Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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