did you get engaged???
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
