we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
