Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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