spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
