Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
