She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
