Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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