LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
