I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
