omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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