Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
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I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize