You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
