eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
