I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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