I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
