I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
