Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I can't put those talents on a resume
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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