apparently the secret to your success is patron
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
