Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
